Greeting Card Puns and Jokes for Friends Who Love to Laugh

Greeting Card Puns

You’re purr-fectly awesome, just like this card.

I donut know what I’d do without you.

You’re tea-riffic, and I’m not just saying that.

You’re one in a melon.

Life would be un-bear-able without you.

You make my heart skip a beet.

I soy into you.

You’re soup-er amazing.

You’ve got a pizza my heart.

I’m nuts about you.

You’re egg-cellent in every way.

You light up my life like a candle.

I whale always love you.

You’re soda-licious.

You’ve got me hooked, like a fish.

You’re grate, and that’s no joke.

I’m bananas for you.

You make everything butter.

I loaf you more than bread.

You’re berry special to me.

I’m grapeful for you every day.

You’re zest.

I’m totally smitten like a kitten.

You’re dino-mite.

You make my heart taco ‘bout love.

You’re tea-rrific in every way.

I carrot about you so much.

You make life fintastic.

You’re out of this world, star.

I’m soda-lighted to know you.

You rock my socks off.

You’re paws-itively amazing.

I’m stuck on you like glue.

You’re my jam.

Life without you would be sweet.

Greeting Card Puns One-Liners

You’re paws-itively amazing and fur-tastic.

I donut know what I’d do without you.

You’re one in a melon and absolutely sweet.

Life would be un-bear-able without your smile.

You’re soup-er special, just like this card.

You’ve got a pizza my heart, always.

I’m nuts about you in every way.

You’re egg-cellent and truly cracking.

I whale always be here for you.

You’re soda-licious and full of fizz.

You’ve got me hooked with your charm.

You’re grate, like the finest cheddar.

I’m bananas for your amazing self.

You make everything butter just by being here.

I loaf you more than fresh bread.

You’re berry special in every way.

I’m grapeful for every moment with you.

You’re the zest that brightens my day.

I’m totally smitten and can’t hide it.

You’re dino-mite, roar-some and fun.

You make my heart taco ‘bout love always.

You’re tea-rrific, steeped in awesomeness.

I carrot about you more than words.

You make life fintastic, swimmingly fun.

You’re out of this world and star-worthy.

I’m soda-lighted every time I see you.

You rock my socks and my heart.

You’re berry sweet and jam-packed with fun.

I’m stuck on you like the strongest glue.

You’re my jam, spreading joy everywhere.

Life without you would be sweet and dull.

You’re purr-fectly awesome, paws and all.

You’re a hoot, always wise and funny.

Funny Greeting Card Puns

You’re claw-some and totally paws-itve.

I waffle about you all the time.

You’re one in a kiwi and extra sweet.

Life without you would be un-fur-gettable.

You make my heart flip like a pancake.

I’m hooked on your silly ways.

You’re souper funny and full of charm.

You’ve got a slice of my heart.

I’m bananas over your jokes.

You’re egg-stra special every day.

You spark joy wherever you go.

I otter be lucky to have you.

You’re pop-tastic, always full of fun.

I’m totally nutshell crazy about you.

You’re cheddar-ly the best.

I’m grape-ful for all our laughs.

You make everything butterly better.

I loaf every moment with you.

You’re plum perfect in my eyes.

I’m cereal-sly lucky to know you.

You’re the lime-light of my day.

I’m completely smothered in joy thanks to you.

You’re roar-some, just like a tiny dinosaur.

You make my heart salsa with happiness.

You’re brew-tiful, steeped in kindness.

I carrot a lot about you.

Life with you is fin-tastic and fun.

You’re out of this galaxy, totally starry.

I’m fizz-ling with excitement around you.

You jam up my day with laughter.

You’re sparkle-tastic, shining everywhere.

I’m glued to your awesomeness.

You’re my buttercup, bright and cheerful.

Life without you would be blah-tastic.

You’re hoot-iful, wise and hilarious.

You’re the icing on every day.

Greeting Card Jokes

Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It felt crumby.

How do you organize a space party?
You planet.

Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers.

Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.

Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.

How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.

Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It caught a virus.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.

How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Why did the picture go to jail?
It was framed.

Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.

Why did the cat sit on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse.

Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad undressing.

What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey.

Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon.

Why did the tomato sit down?
It couldn’t ketchup.

Short Greeting Card Jokes

Why did the cupcake go to school?
Because it wanted to be a smart cookie.

Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the salad undressing.

Why was the broom late?
It swept in.

Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.

Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It felt crumby.

Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

Why did the math book look sad?
It had too many problems.

Why did the grape stop in the road?
It ran out of juice.

Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.

How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Why did the cat sit on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse.

Why did the pencil break up with paper?
It found it too graph-ic.

Why did the cow go to space?
To see the moooon.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.

Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open.

Why did the penguin build a house?
It iglooed it together.

Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long.

Why did the tomato sit down?
It couldn’t ketchup.

Why did the owl invite his friends over?
Because he was a hoot.

Why did the sandwich go to the party?
Because it was on a roll.

Why was the math book unhappy?
It had too many problems.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.

Why did the cookie go to therapy?
It felt crumby.

Why did the orange stop?
It ran out of juice.

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the boos.

Why did the grape go to school?
Because it wanted to be raisin smart.