Table of Contents
Apush Puns
George Washington really knew how to cherry-pick his battles.
The Boston Tea Party was just America’s way of spilling the tea.
The Constitution had too many amendments to keep track of.
Hamilton’s plans always had a little interest.
Jefferson loved a good draft, in writing and in wine.
The Bill of Rights made freedom trendier than ever.
The Louisiana Purchase was a landslide deal.
Jackson’s presidency was always full of veto power.
The Erie Canal knew how to go with the flow.
Pilgrims were punctual and puritanical.
The Stamp Act left everyone feeling paper-thin.
The Gold Rush had people digging for laughs and treasure.

The Underground Railroad was track star secretive.
The Cold War really knew how to keep it frosty.
Progressive Era reformers knew how to clean up the act.
Andrew Jackson loved a good swamp stomp.
Federalists always wanted a strong central punch.
The Transcontinental Railroad really connected the dots.
The Great Awakening brought a revival of spirits.
Settlers heading west were full of pioneer puns.
Jamestown was a Virginia good time.
Benjamin Franklin always went with the current.
The Cotton Gin was spinning with excitement.
Revolutionary soldiers knew how to draw the line.
The Missouri Compromise was all about balancing acts.
The New Deal was a stress reliever for the nation.
Tea taxes were a real pain in the cup.
The Alamo defenders were mission-minded.
Gold miners always kept digging for jokes.
Boston’s patriots knew how to brew up trouble.
The early settlers were all about map-ness and manners.
The economy and Britain had a taxing relationship.
The frontier life was trail-blazing fun.
American history can always make you grin and learn.
Apush Puns One-Liners
George Washington always knew how to pick the right battles.
The Boston Tea Party was America’s way of spilling the brew.
The Constitution had so many rules, it could fill a book.
Hamilton’s money plans were full of calculations.
Jefferson loved a good script, whether notes or letters.
The Bill of Rights made liberty trendy.
The Louisiana Purchase was a huge score.
Jackson loved using his veto power often.
The Erie Canal liked to go with the current.
Pilgrims were early and very strict.
The Stamp Act made everyone feel overloaded.
The Gold Rush had folks mining for fun and fortune.

The Underground Railroad stayed super hidden.
The Cold War kept things icy and tense.
Progressive reformers wanted cleaner laws.
Andrew Jackson enjoyed a good swamp battle.
Federalists pushed for strong government.
The Transcontinental Railroad joined distant lands.
The Great Awakening lifted people’s spirits.
Westward settlers loved a good pioneer joke.
Jamestown was a fun Virginia spot.
Benjamin Franklin went along with the current.
The Cotton Gin made cotton fly.
Revolutionary soldiers drew the final line.
The Missouri Compromise kept things balanced.
The New Deal eased national troubles.
Tea taxes were a bitter burden.
The Alamo defenders stayed focused.
Gold miners always kept digging for laughs.
Boston’s patriots brewed some chaos.
Early settlers cared about maps and etiquette.
The economy with Britain was a tricky partnership.
Life on the frontier was full of adventure.
Studying American history always helps you grow.
Funny Apush Puns
The Boston Tea Party was America’s way of brewing trouble.
The Constitution really had a lot of amendments to juggle.
Hamilton’s financial plan was full of interest.
Jefferson loved a good draft both letters and ideas.
The Bill of Rights made freedom fashionable.
The Louisiana Purchase was a massive landmark deal.
Andrew Jackson loved to veto everything in sight.
The Erie Canal liked to flow with the times.
Pilgrims were early and extremely organized.
The Stamp Act left colonists feeling stamped out.
The Gold Rush had people digging for fortune and fun.

The Underground Railroad stayed totally underground.
The Cold War kept everyone chilly and tense.
Progressive reformers knew how to clean up politics.
Andrew Jackson’s battles were always a swampy mess.
Federalists pushed for a strong government punch.
The Transcontinental Railroad really connected the country.
The Great Awakening lifted everyone’s spirits.
Westward settlers had plenty of trail humor.
Jamestown was a Virginia good time.
Benjamin Franklin went with the current, literally.
The Cotton Gin made cotton fly into history.
Revolutionary soldiers always drew the line.
The Missouri Compromise was all about balance.
The New Deal brought national relief.
Tea taxes were a bitter sip.
The Alamo defenders stayed focused till the end.
Gold miners always found jokes in the dirt.
Boston patriots liked to brew chaos.
Early settlers cared about maps and manners.
The economy with Britain was a taxing relationship.
Frontier life was full of adventure.
Learning American history can make you smile.
Apush Jokes
Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree?
He wanted to show he could branch out.
Why was Hamilton always counting money?
He was all about the cents.
Why did Jefferson write the Declaration of Independence?
He wanted to leave a significant note.
Why was the Constitution so heavy?
It was basically a paperweight.
Why did Andrew Jackson love vetoing bills?
It was his favorite kind of exercise.
Why did the Erie Canal always work smoothly?
Because it liked to go with the flow.

Why were the Pilgrims always early?
They were big on time management.
Why did colonists hate the Stamp Act?
It made them feel stuck.
Why did Gold Rush miners laugh a lot?
Because they were digging for treasure and laughs.
Why was the Underground Railroad so secretive?
It was the original sneak network.
Why was the Cold War so chilly?
Because everyone stayed icy.
Why did Progressive reformers clean up politics?
They loved a good spring cleaning.
Why did Andrew Jackson like swamp battles?
He enjoyed a good skirmish.
Why did Federalists want a strong central government?
They loved strong punches.
Why was the Transcontinental Railroad important?
It really joined the nation.
Why did the Great Awakening make people happy?
It lifted their spirits.
Why did settlers tell pioneer jokes?
They loved a good joke.
Why was the Cotton Gin so exciting?
It made cotton spin.
Why did Revolutionary soldiers draw the line?
They wanted to make a clear line.
Why was the Missouri Compromise necessary?
It kept everything balanced.
Why did the New Deal make people happy?
It helped the nation relax.
Why were tea taxes so hated?
They were a bitter sip.
Why did Alamo defenders stay determined?
They were mission-driven.
Why did miners always laugh in the Gold Rush?
They found jokes in the dirt.
Why did Boston patriots brew trouble?
They loved stirring up trouble.
Why did early settlers care about maps?
They valued maps and manners.
Why was frontier life so exciting?
It was full of adventure.
Why does studying American history make you happy?
It can make you grin.
Why did Andrew Carnegie succeed in business?
He knew how to make a steel of a deal.
Why did industrialization change the country?
It really powered the nation forward.
Short Apush jokes
Why couldn’t George Washington lie?
He just branched out.
Why was Hamilton always counting money?
He cared about interest.
Why did Jefferson write the Declaration?
He wanted a note worth remembering.
Why was the Constitution so heavy?
It was basically a paperweight.
Why did Jackson love vetoing bills?
It was his favorite move.
Why did the Erie Canal work so well?
Because it went with the flow.

Why were the Pilgrims always early?
They were very organized.
Why did colonists hate the Stamp Act?
It made them feel stuck.
Why did Gold Rush miners laugh?
They were digging for fortune and laughs.
Why was the Underground Railroad secret?
It stayed hidden.
Why was the Cold War so tense?
It was super chilly.
Why did Progressive reformers work hard?
They loved a good clean-up.
Why did Jackson enjoy swamp battles?
He liked skirmishes.
Why did Federalists want strong government?
They loved strong government.
Why was the Transcontinental Railroad important?
It connected people.
Why did the Great Awakening lift people’s moods?
It lifted spirits.
Why did settlers tell pioneer jokes?
They loved a good joke.
Why did Ben Franklin fly a kite?
He followed the current.
Why was the Cotton Gin exciting?
It made cotton spin.
Why did Revolutionary soldiers draw the line?
They wanted to be clear.
Why was the Missouri Compromise needed?
It kept things balanced.
Why did the New Deal make people happy?
It brought relief.
Why were tea taxes hated?
They were a bitter sip.
Why did Alamo defenders stay strong?
They were mission-driven.
Why did miners laugh in the Gold Rush?
They found jokes in the dirt.
Why did Boston patriots stir things up?
They brewed trouble.
Why did early settlers care about maps?
They valued maps and manners.
Why was frontier life exciting?
It was full of adventure.
Why does learning history make you happy?
It makes you grin.
Why did Carnegie succeed in business?
He made a steel of a deal.
Why did industrialization change America?
It powered the nation.
